Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
