so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
