i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
