and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Houston, we have a blender
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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