I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
