put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
