Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
