Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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