There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
