Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
