That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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