Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
