haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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