I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
