Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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