My hand turned me down
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
