Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
