I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize