Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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