Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
