I'm jealous of your bromance
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
