If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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