Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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