so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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