I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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