Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize