i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
