I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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