Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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