i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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