I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
