I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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