What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Randomize
