Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
