I love black thongs
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
