im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
