Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
