I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
