all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
