Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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