theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Mom said you looked used
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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