he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
