i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am naked and annoyed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
