dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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