threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
