woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
