who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
