Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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