He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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