the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
