writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
