I heard we made out
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
