I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
