i can't believe i had my finger in that
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
