Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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