everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize