"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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