One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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