i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
