i just identified you from a description of your pipe
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
