She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
