possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
