Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
