ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
