Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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