dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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