you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
