summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
