we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
