I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
