people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
