can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
