Can i not drive my cunt home
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
